Ain't a diva

Once I loved, or I thought
That I found the meaning
Of that words in the dictionary
Right next to "love"
But discovered it in a way much damn more harsh
When realized that I hadn't it so much
Bought free to pay dear

Well, he gave some good memories
But only wanted some endorphin
And deep in my soul
Something screamed "It's wrong"
Näiveté, who's really first and least?
When I got the gist of it
There was only a ruined wall
Nothing was built at all

Sorry, I pretended to
Be deaf to your whispering voice
Sorry, but my defenses
Couldn't let me rejoice
"Too much for a little heart and time
Me, myself and I by now, that's fine"

Looked around, smiles in pairs
Swifty affairs, and I still alone
Sweet words heard sometimes
But once it was done, were gone
It always takes a while
To try, to fly and soar free
Felt again like a two-winged bird
Till you landed your eyes on me...

Sorry if I ain't a diva
And my feet are on the ground
Sorry if I can't just
Be hanging a little around
Exchanging food for drugs again
Delusions of "safe and sound"
Now, gotta fight for a home of my own
I'm ice, steel and fire, wanna forge me, come on
Maybe I really am a lame at all
Uncertain, waiting...